How many times as a child were you put into a corner in time out and told to “think about what you’ve done wrong”? This is societal programming at it’s finest. Or foulest, depending on how you see it. It’s one of the first ways we train children to do instead of be.
Other people's expectations of us and our own aligned path are not always the same thing. Our families, our society, our culture, our friends, teachers, and acquaintances all have expectations. We all pretty much grew up with those expectations. They monitor our behavior in different situations and give us guidelines that we can blur, maybe, sometimes, or not in other situations. The person or group imposing these expectations of behavior are usually who benefits the most from you complying.
Think about it. When in public places, we expect children to be well behaved and quiet for the most part. But is it to benefit the child or is to benefit everyone else? Everyone else will benefit from the child’s expected behavior, but will the child? When excited about something it is in our best interest to be able to express that joy in whatever way feels best to us. For some that may be a whoop or a loud, exclaimed YES! It may be dancing around and moving our bodies to the excited energy we are feeling! In many situations it is socially unacceptable to do so. So we contain it. We shut down that excited energy, in a way dampening our own energy field. We impose limits on the flow of energy inside our own LEFs (Luminous Energy Field - read more about that here). Expressing energy freely is always in the individuals best interest!
In social situations, children are shamed for causing other people to feel some kind of way. Other people's feelings are used as a control tactic. When in that moment, that child who is Being rather than Doing is flowing with the energy they are feeling, and then having that energy forcibly shut down because of someone else's external discomfort. Then these become the habits we unlearn when we walk a spiritual path as adults. This programming is what we refer to when we talk about healing from the past. Many of us have to unlearn those “self sacrificing” habits in favor of more “self-centered’ habits.
Even as adults we use these same tactics to attempt to control other adults. We throw around phrases like “When you do that thing that I don’t like you made me feel this kind of way!” Accusing the other person of causing us to feel a way we don’t like. When it all actuality, it is our energetic interpretation of the actions of the other person, our judgment of whether their actions are “proper” or not, "right" or "wrong" in that moment, that cause our emotional response. There is no assertion. Only attraction. So if someone else’s behavior affects you, stop for a moment to ask yourself why. Why does it bother you? How are you judging their behavior? How can you change the way you feel in this moment? If nothing else, then remove yourself from their presence. Go somewhere else where you agree with and like what is happening. We are not hall monitors. We are all sharing this blue planet with a common goal in mind. To LIVE. So live, and let others do the same. We are all each one responsible for our own feelings. No one else can “make” you feel any sort of way.
This is a huge piece of what the Shamanic way of life has taught me. For more information on the Shamanic way of life and how it can help you, please click here. I'm offering an Introduction to Shamanism in March, 2021! STAY TUNED!